You Might be a Redneck if.... you attend a "Chick Garden Redneck Stampin...Party..."

Well, let me begin by saying that if you have read my blog in the past, you know

that I'm not a "crazy possessed redneck" ~ but one of the "chicks" hosted the

"Redneck Chicks Garden Stampin Party"

at her home on Tuesday night ~ so, read on ~ if you can understand "redneck chat".

For those of you like my friend Karen who is an English Major (no, she ditn't...)

I'm gonna merder the kings englishs.... (yep, she dit...)

Welp, I liked to kilt myself driving over to "Louisa's housz" ~ she lives like in Alperetter...thats way far from er...nota neer nutin..

Wen I got er ~ I liked to passed out.... she be stayin in a manchon~!

I was just bout to keel right over on er sofer... lawww, her old man, Homer and me

went to the same skool....and he dun got the same learnin i den ~ hes a dun muh batter than uz folks den...hez justa ode cuontrys boys all growed up thad Homer...

Louisa's gots all thiz fancie junk eveaware... i dun no wares she gots it all from...must
bes a gootwills thats bein gots da goodz...

i figred she musta has bunch a... plates,
my Mama and em always kep thers in the kichan... fur eatin...
dent wana hert her feelinz so i dent say nuthin...

she musta has had somebody in da familily that steelin....
she gots her junk all loxed up, wif a kez... ya noe...
i hope dem when to preszin...

shoulda noed was in a fancie houz when i saw at barbed wyre tipe diz rak up air...

stuff is ery'ware... she dun hairs her papers hartly put ups. noe wae i'd be hasing my

papers i'd owe out er for em to see...

rund er, we eat cabbags. ain't ever dun no anybodys that hungs em on ther walz.

ifs she ain't got nuttin i wanna ett....... oo, that'd be some them cole slaws, mayb'd I'd be

heping mys sef to some them thare p nutz.

felted write at homz... she had out the redneck chiner ~ ain't evr had none

wif dos fancie dividad sactions....dang~!

she dun had bar-be-que, some stews, fritoe chipz, blackeye pea ~ bout coudn't eat is alls.

then thar waz some coconuts puddins for deeserzt.

i et and et....I was plum full up... up air...

thiz one the cards we be maked.... soe iz... shooda nood waz doin sumpin snazy...

iza bit warried bout Louisa... she dun give us these autograf book, nascar un's ~ she was

veri prod of geeting em for ten cent a piez. pricz tags write air...

ya'll aint gonna bleave this un... she gived us a gif card holdem with nuttin' in its....

wunder wats rong with er?

thin shes make us plaz "derty redneck" ~ i gotta "butt & face" dyrectionals towls for the shaweer... someun tooked it... so it tooked someuns yoohoo's ~

girlz gotta hav sumpin to drank...somebudy gots a redneck water fountin tat

waz eazy to put in... waz a white wattar hose. sur is gladz I dent get dat spam...

Louisa i surz preciat you havin us in wif ya... told "digger" nots to spit hiz dipz n

mya botdal but he den anywys.... sarry bout at...

preciat ya'll lettin mes takez

pitchars... dem sum sure pertie uns...

Iz gotta go on now... butt beleave thad yous shoud be brangin you's fanczi litez to all us

"chicks" nitz...

I have me sum mor pitchars i'll be a puttin on tamarra....

sur did have me sum funs and some laffs over therz at yous houz.

daunt ya'll go tellin herz, me don't tink I cudda stanz to drivzes out air againnnn...

er bodie gots em fanzie pickem up tructs...

and air ain't mucha point duin that ther spellscks ~ websterz nevr did a com cross ennie bridged out hair..

sees ya'lls tamarra...... ~one vintage hagz